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Jan. 9th, 2004

(no subject)

My father has to be the hardest person in the world to get along with. At least I know where I get my argument skills from. He is an asshole. I cannot wait until I am out of that house.

On the way to work he wanted to talk about the Mike situation. (Yeah.. it has a name now.) He started in on it again, and I told him I didn't want to talk about it. It would ruin my day. He said "And no one cares if my day is ruined." Get over yourself. So he talked about it anyway. I don't really want to get into what was said, just the same old bullshit over and over. My father is never, ever wrong. Do not ever try to tell him that. You will be on his shit list for good.

Does anyone have a couch I can sleep on until I find my own place? I am pretty clean and I don't have fleas.

I really hate my life right now. I would never kill myself or do anything stupid like that, but I do think that it would alot easier if one morning I didn't wake up.

Jan. 8th, 2004

(no subject)

Night class sucks. Well it's not that bad. I'm just tired from school this morning until 11, working from 11 to 5, class from 6-8:50, then my dad's shit. He emailed me back. I guess my email pissed him off. Oh fucking well. He needs to get over himself.

Jan. 7th, 2004

First Day of Spring 2004 Semester

Everything went pretty well. crZlaurenLauren is in two of my classes. She is in Visual Basic Programming and Internet Scripting (JavaScript). We learned how to do alerts today in JavaScript! Yay!

After school I went to work. It was basically hell. Mike and Gail had to take their 4 children to pre-op. Next week they are all getting their tonsils removed and the triplets are getting tubes put in their ears. We were extremely busy, and extremely short handed. Tiffany is still learning the register, so she is still kind of slow. I was serving. CeeCee was cooking. One person would order a grilled chicken sandwich. I would walk to the back (kitchen area) and tell CeeCee I needed a chicken sandwich. Then I would walk back out front and the next person would tell me they wanted a chicken sandwich. So I would have to walk back. (See a pattern yet?) This happened about 6 times. It was very aggravating, because people were getting impatient. We were all going as fast as we could, but it wasn't fast enough for the damn students.

After work I went home. Mike picked me up at about 4:30 pm. We hung out for a little bit. I got my ring back from the jewellers. It fits now!! At about 8 pm Travis, his brother Ryan, Mike, and I were all bored and tried to find something to do. We decided to go to my house. All of you know that Mike isn't allowed here. I decided to make stand.

I told everyone to wait in the car while I talked to my mom. I told her that Mike, Ryan and Travis were going to come in. Mom said "You know your dad doesn't want Mike here." So we had a little discussion about how I thought it was childish for my dad to act the way he does about Mike. Well mom wasn't budging so I said "I will just tell them to leave" and I burst out into tears. Not just tears, more like a waterfall of tears. So many tears that my brother had to hug me to calm me down.

Finally I calmed down and Mom said they could come in until 10. That is when dad gets up for work.

My parents just don't understand how much stress they cause me. They are the reason I am sick all the time. Too much stress can kill someone!! I am constantly giving people gas money, I have to plan for Mike to pick me up when Dad is asleep. Just knowing that my dad hates the man I love tears a big hole in my heart. And knowing that he hates him for no good reason rips it apart. I am always crying. I cry myself to sleep all the time. So I emailed him.

the emailCollapse )

I really do think I could benefit from seeing a therapist. It would be nice to talk to someone who is independent of the situation that would have an unbiased opinion. I could get so much stuff off my chest. Sigh.

I really miss the days when Mike would come over and we would sit in my room and talk and watch TV and build web pages and look for Ford Probes on E-bay. Hopefully we will be able to have those days again soon.

Jan. 6th, 2004

(no subject)

Most common side affects of Zithromax

  1. stomach pains

  2. loose stools

  3. nausea

Guess which 2 I have.

(no subject)

Time for yet another bubble bath. It is the only thing that passes the time.

(no subject)

I went to the doctor. She was actually nice. But anyway she said it was probably the flu. She prescribed me the Z-pack (Zithromax) antibiotics. So I should be all better in a few days!! I didn't go to work because I could barely talk. My voice is starting to come back, but I don't want to push it.

School starts tomorrow. School starts tomorrow. I am excited. Wooh.

(no subject)

How aggravating. I need to uninstall Internet Explorer. So I have to download Netscape so that I can in turn download Explorer back.

Jan. 5th, 2004

Phone Post:

106K 0:29
“[unintellegible blah] [cough cough] I can't talk. Um. It's me and I am sick. I am sure you can tell now. I just wanted to call.. and make everyone feel sorry for me. Um. [sniffle] I think Frank the Goat ate my last po[cough] last phone post, so I have to do this again and stress my throat some more. But [something something] Okay. Bye.”

Transcribed by: tabbi_cakes

Phone Post: This is how I sound

52K 0:14
“Hey everybody. I decided to let [voice cuts out] hear just exactly what I sound like. Uhh.. I've pretty much completely lost my voice. But.. I dunno.. I'll get better tomorrow.”

Transcribed by: tabbi_cakes

(no subject)

You should hear my voice. Mike says I sound like Chewbacca from Star Wars. Please excuse my spelling. I am going to the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully the bitch will fix me.

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